


Come in Handy

by amy_lupin



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bantering, Friends With Benefits, Horse Play, M/M, Pining Merlin (Merlin), closeted Arthur, flatmates, sexual favors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-25 03:39:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14370114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amy_lupin/pseuds/amy_lupin
Summary: Everybody knows Arthur and Merlin are a couple, only they can't see it.





	Come in Handy

**Author's Note:**

> I did some research about Secondary School in UK and Medicine Course at Oxford, but I apologize if I got anything wrong.
> 
> Thank you **Lala** and **Lexi** for the beta reading and the tips! Thank you **Matt** for helping me out with the plot, as always!
> 
> P.S.: Lala kindly explained that freshmen aren’t allowed to live outside the college-owned accommodations, but for this fic, let’s pretend they are, alright? XD

Merlin woke up with a startle when his bed bounced and looked back to see Arthur lifting the covers to sneak in behind him.

“Move over,” Arthur said and Merlin huffed in annoyance, but shifted to the left side of his bed to give him some space, cursing at the coldness of the sheets at his new spot. Still, it was better than starting an argument, if he intended to go back to sleep any sooner.

Merlin bumped his nose on a book and sighed. He had fallen asleep while studying again. He picked it up and placed it on the floor by the bed while Arthur snuggled closer to him in his undershirt and boxers. He circled Merlin's waist with a heavy arm, sneaking his cold hand inside Merlin's T-shirt, making him hiss and retract his stomach muscles. Arthur pressed his hand with more intent, the git.

Pulling a face, Merlin peeked at the digital clock, frowning at realizing it was just past ten in the evening. “That bad, huh?” He croaked sleepily.

Arthur grunted at his back. “Let's… not talk about it.”

Merlin was happy to oblige, settling his head more comfortably on his pillow and preparing to pick up his meaningless dreams where he left them.

“Why does Vivian has to be _so damn_ annoying?” came Arthur's loud voice near his right ear.

Merlin grunted, muffling a curse on the pillow. So much for ‘not talking about it.’

“Her voice is irritating, her talk is boring,” Arthur continued relentlessly. “She wouldn’t stop bitching about the food, the waitress, my friends, _her_ friends, her latest parking tickets… fucking _everything_. She simply wouldn’t stop talking!”

“Sounds like Vivian,” Merlin said, resigned to his fate. Again, the quicker Arthur was done venting, the faster Merlin could get some much appreciated sleep.

“I know, right? I don’t know why I asked her out.”

Merlin merely hummed in reply.

Arthur continued talking as if encouraged by it. “It’s just that it’s been, what? A month since I last dated anyone?”

It had been five weeks, to be more precise. Not that Merlin had been counting.

“Besides, she’s hot, and I was horny, and I thought it would be worth the effort, but it turns out I couldn’t stand her, not even at the prospect of getting laid. _And_ , I had to pay for dinner! At Avalon! Bitch didn’t even volunteer to split!”

Merlin turned to face him, unable to keep quiet any longer. “You asked her out, you picked the restaurant, now you’re the one bitching about it and it’s fucking _annoying_.”

“Shut up,” Arthur huffed, hitting him with a pillow.

Merlin propped himself up on his elbows to glare at him. “No, I won’t fucking shut up! This is _my_ room, this is _my_ bed, and this is _my pillow_!” He pulled said pillow from Arthur’s stunned hands. “I’m trying to sleep here, if you hadn’t noticed it yet. I have a test tomorrow morning and I can’t afford to fail it, so either _you_ shut up or leave.”

Arthur raised his palms in surrender. “Alright, I got it, no talking. Jesus!” He rolled his eyes. “Can I at least have the pillow b-”

He was stopped from finishing the sentence when the pillow collided with his face.

Merlin laid back down, hitting his head on the pillow with more force than needed, still scowling. He ignored Arthur’s not so muffled curses and tried to will himself back to sleep.

Only his burst of anger had left him wide awake now, but Merlin wouldn’t admit to that, of course. He kept still while Arthur rolled and shifted at his back, trying to find a comfortable position, only to change again after two seconds. Merlin bit back a whine when Arthur hit him painfully in the shoulder after turning around, just to turn back around a few seconds later.

Merlin sighed, praying for patience. “Arthur?”

“Yes?”

“What do you want from me?”

Arthur shifted again, this time fitting his body into the curve of Merlin’s back, pressing his half-hard dick at him. “I’m still horny,” he said into Merlin’s ear, then ducked down to nose at Merlin’s nape, making the hair at the back of his head stand on end.

“Well, you didn’t buy _me_ dinner. I owe you nothing.”

“But you’re my friend, and friends help each other out?” Arthur ended it with a questioning tone before Merlin's unimpressed glare over his shoulder.

“Try again.”

Arthur’s hand sneaked under Merlin's shirt again, this time to caress his stomach. “I’ll let you get to sleep faster if you give me a hand.”

Merlin elbowed him away. “How about I go to sleep now and you deal with this in your own room?”

Arthur huffed and sat up to pout down at him. “Come on, Merlin, don't be like that.” He nudged at Merlin's hip. “I’ll make you breakfast tomorrow so you can stay in bed 'till later.”

“You'll burn my pancakes, just like the other time.”

Arthur gestured with his hands in exasperation. “You know how useless I am in the kitchen!”

“Are you still trying to convince me? Cause you're doing a terrible job, you know?”

Arthur pressed his lips together, then narrowed his eyes, making an warning siren go off in Merlin's head. Before he could sit up, though, Arthur pulled the covers in a swift move and lunged forward, tackling him down on the mattress.

They begun to wrestle for dominance, grunting and grabbing and pulling, rolling around. Arthur was stronger, but Merlin used his knees and elbows to try and hit him in strategic places, forcing Arthur to stop his own assault to defend himself. It was all useless, though, for Arthur had him pinned to the mattress in no time and nuzzled at his neck shamelessly, making Merlin whimper.

“Come on, Merlin, I know you won't be able to sleep now.” Arthur rubbed his crotch on Merlin’s hardening cock.

“And whose fault is that?” Merlin retorted, refusing to let go just yet out of principle, but Arthur ignored his rhetorical question.

“Best to make the most of it, then.”

“Have I told you you’re an ass today?”

“I'm pretty sure you said it this morning.”

Of course, Merlin remembered now reaching for the milk bottle in the fridge and finding it empty. “I haven’t said it enough, then.”

Arthur nibbled at his earlobe, his voice husky and irresistible. “I’ll make it good for you.”

Merlin moaned, but turned it into a growl halfway through. He twisted his wrists to pull them free of Arthur's lax grip and pushed him back as he sat up, making Arthur lose his balance. Merlin was on top of him in no time, straddling his hips and baring his teeth at him. “You'll buy me breakfast at the coffee shop down the block.”

Arthur rolled his eyes, but his eyes were twinkling with amusement. “You’re a donut whore.”

“And you're a fat cheapskate.”

“I'm a fat nothing, you-”

Merlin kissed him silent and Arthur grunted, grabbing a fistful of his hair to keep him from backing off. They undressed each other pretty much like they had fought before, pulling and tugging roughly until they were naked and panting in each other's mouth.

Arthur sat up and reached for the lube and condom in the nightstand without bothering to ask permission. He trailed kisses and teasing bites over Merlin's collarbone and chest as he stuck his lubed up fingers inside Merlin until he was blushing from want and begging for it.

Arthur pulled his fingers out to open the condom, rolling it down one handedly while supporting himself up with the other arm. Sprawled out on the bed, with one knee bended to give Arthur free access to his ass, Merlin watched him intently.

Arthur guided himself in slowly, then looked up at Merlin, his breathing heavy and his sweaty hair glued to his temples. “Alright?” He asked, finally allowing the pretence of roughness to crack.

As it always did, in the end.

Merlin nodded, licking his lips. “Alright.”

Arthur started to move then, slow and steady. They stared at each other freely now. Arthur's eyes on him were so intense, Merlin had to close his own to calm his heartbeat and get a grip of his turmoiling feelings.

Completely oblivious to it, Arthur grabbed Merlin’s legs and pulled them up to bring Merlin's hips into his lap, leaning over to lick Merlin’s nipple. Merlin cursed and moaned at Arthur’s ministrations, knowing just how much Arthur liked the encouragement. When Arthur reached between their bodies to stimulate him, Merlin let go of his restrains and enjoyed the high of his climax.

Arthur let go of him to chase his own relief after that and Merlin was content to watch it. It was hard to notice the very moment Arthur came, for he was always too silent, but Merlin had learned to look for the small details, like the tension in his muscles before, the slightest crease on his forehead, the little hesitation in his pace and the way his shoulders relaxed afterwards. Arthur slowed down to a stop, closing his eyes and sighing contently.

He pulled out then and got rid of the condom before collapsing bonelessly on the mattress. Merlin groaned as he leaned over the bed to grab his briefs from the floor and wipe himself clean, tossing them off again afterwards. He pulled the covers over the both of them as he laid back down, feeling sleepy anew.

The silence stretched between them, as it often did after the heat of the moment dissipated, that awkward moment when Merlin wondered if he should act like the best friend again, or if it was still okay to pretend they were more than that. Mostly, he waited until Arthur made the first move and went from there, but Arthur seemed to be lost in his own world right now.

Merlin was already contemplating closing his eyes and going back to sleep when Arthur spoke again, his voice contemplative.

“I haven't seen you date in a while, Merlin.”

Merlin looked at him, frowning. He shrugged when Arthur raised an eyebrow. “That's probably because I haven't dated in a while.”

“And why is that?” Arthur looked genuinely curious.

Merlin closed his eyes, wishing Arthur would get the cue and drop the subject. “Because I don't have time for that.”

“Being a nerd is no excuse, Merlin.”

Merlin snorted, but refrained from saying anything.

Arthur wouldn’t let it go this easily, though, and Merlin heard him shifting on the bed to face him. “You didn’t answer my question.”

Merlin sighed. He wasn’t particularly comfortable talking about this subject with just anyone, least of all Arthur, but he knew better than to try and avoid it. He chose to go with a half-truth instead of the real deal. “I don't know, it's just I don't have the time to meet people right now, to get to know them, and I don’t really like the whole dating concept, you know, asking people out, picking a safe but dull place, having small talk while worrying about having lettuce stuck in your teeth...”

Arthur snorted. “Yeah, well, you really suck at that.”

Merlin turned around to shoot him an incredulous stare. “What exactly do you mean by ‘that’?”

Arthur shrugged. “The asking people out bit. The last guys you dated were complete nutcases, not to mention that dickhead from last year, with his stupid beard and… and that stupid tattoo.”

“Who? Julius?” Merlin asked, trying to figure out what Julius Borden had to do with all this. “I didn't date him! He only bought me a drink because I helped him with his essay!”

“Yeah, and why did you help him again?” Arthur asked, pretending to consider it. “Wasn't it because you were _trying to get into his pants_?”

Merlin's chin dropped. “No! I was only being nice!”

Which, of course, wasn’t entirely true. Merlin had been seriously considering asking the guy out. Julius was fit and confident and he had showed an interest in Merlin, for a change. It didn’t help that Merlin had been attention-starved at the time. He was only human, he was allowed to be needy sometimes.

“Yes you were!” Arthur insisted in a disapproving tone. “It was obvious he was only flirting with you so that you would do his paper for him and it's a good thing he dropped classes before the end of the year, otherwise you would totally have fallen for it. I don't even know what you saw in him! The guy was studying archeology, for God's sake! Who chooses to study archeology in this day and age? And he was a right self-absorbed jerk. Who cares if he had a dragon tattoo, so does half the population on campus!”

“Oh, shut up,” Merlin said, looking away. Of course Arthur was right, but Merlin would be damned if he admitted it to his face.

“What about that app Gwaine told you about?” Arthur asked in a mostly uninterested tone. “Have you used it yet?”

Merlin grimaced. Gwaine had been too invested in getting Merlin to go out lately. It was starting to make Merlin uneasy. “You know I’m not cut out for casual sex either.”

Arthur shot him a strange look again, as if he was talking nonsense. “No, I don’t know that. Would you care to explain?”

“It’s just... awkward?” Merlin said, unsure of how to explain it.

Arthur arched an eyebrow, gesturing to the both of them. “You think this is awkward.”

“No, I mean, it was at first, I suppose, but…” Merlin shook his head, trying to elaborate. “We’re used to this by now. But it’s not the same thing, we know each other. I think sex is too intimate a moment to share with just anyone. I mean, you’re supposed to get to your most vulnerable state with someone you just met! What if they’re a criminal, or nuts, or- or they’re into some weird stuff? Besides, what’s the point in it?”

“Oh, I don’t know, having a good time maybe?” Arthur mocked.

Merlin shook his head. “Sounds like too much effort for a ‘maybe’. I mean, look at you. You were just complaining about what a waste of time and money your date with Vivian was. You could probably have gone to her place if you wanted to, but then what? Do you fancy yourself having a nice and meaningful conversation with her after the sex, just like we’re having right now? You don’t really like her, you don’t want to spend some time with her, get to know her better, so why bother?”

For once, Arthur didn’t seem know what to say after that. He had a wrinkle on his forehead and his eyes seemed to be looking far away. Merlin turned his back on him and was just getting comfortable when Arthur spoke again.

“Wait, did you just say ‘nice and meaningful conversation’?”

“Oh, God,” Merlin face-planted on the pillow.

Arthur snuggled up to him, wrapping himself behind him and pressing his nose to Merlin’s nape. “Why, Merlin, I thought you were just indulging me so that you could go back to sleep faster!”

Merlin could practically hear his grin through his voice. “You nailed it, then. Now shut it.”

Arthur poked Merlin in the ribs, making him flinch away and curse. “You know, I think I get what you're saying. Perhaps it’s really a waste of time.” He yawned. When he spoke again, his voice was slightly sluggish. “Perhaps I’m getting too old for this sleeping around thing too.”

Merlin blinked, wondering if he had heard it right. “What did you say?” He tried to look back, but Arthur was too close to allow him any movement.

“Shhh! Some of us are trying to sleep, Merlin.”

Merlin let out an indignant huff, but didn’t put much heart to it. Arthur was blissfully hot and cozy at his back and he was really tired, so he pushed it to the back of his mind and closed his eyes.

.Merlin.

They knew each other since the beginning of Sixth Form, when Merlin moved to London with his mother, although they hadn’t been instant friends. Merlin hated Arthur’s snobbish face at first, having watched him bully another freshman with the rest of the hockey team at his flank. Merlin had put a stop to their twisted fun and, of course, ended up painting a target on his own back after that.

Merlin would have been happy to avoid Arthur for the rest of his school days if not for the fact that he made friends with some guys from the football team, which Arthur also happened to be a part of. The forced socializing made Merlin see past Arthur’s tough façade and realize there was still a chance of redemption for him. It was all about hanging around the right people, as Merlin soon learned, and being around Merlin's new friends made a lot of good for Arthur.

They had never ceased to argue, but at some point it had turned into good humored bantering and teasing. Their newly built friendship went through a turbulent phase, though, when Merlin started dating William, his recently reacquainted childhood friend. Merlin had never been in the closet, but he thought his sexuality was such a small part of who he was he didn't see the point in advertising it to everyone he knew. For this reason, Merlin was truly hurt when Arthur stopped talking to him for a whole week after that.

Arthur had eventually worked his head around it with the help of their mutual friends, but he never really got along with Will. In the meantime, Arthur had started dating one of Merlin's best friends, Gwen, and it seemed for a moment that Merlin and Arthur were slowly drifting apart, although they never really stopped hanging around together with the others. It was like being part of this big and noisy family, unable to help seeing each other in gatherings.

Will's father got transferred overseas by the end of that first year and Will and Merlin parted once more as friends. With him gone, Merlin and Arthur tentatively got close again until, suddenly, it was like they had never stopped being attached at the hip. Merlin became a constant third wheel, but Gwen didn't seem to mind. On the contrary, she was always insisting for Merlin to go out with them regularly and including him in most of their plans.

As the A-Levels approached, it became clear that their group would have to split up, but it was still devastating when the time came for them to separate. Mordred and Elyan wouldn't be going to college for another year; Gwen and Lance got accepted at Cambridge; Gwaine and Percy at UCL and only Arthur and Merlin would be initiating Medicine course at Oxford, with Arthur intending to specialize in Emergency Medicine and Merlin aiming for Pediatrics. Arthur's sister, Morgana, was qualifying for psychiatry at Oxford too and her boyfriend, Leon, was studying Law, but they had moved in together a few months prior, so it was only natural that Arthur and Merlin started to make plans to be flatmates.

Arthur had defied his father’s authority by choosing to study Medicine, since Uther had planned for him to graduate in Economics to take over the family business. After realizing Arthur wasn’t backing up from his decision, Uther ended up cutting his son’s allowance in half to teach him a lesson. Still, Arthur’s financial standing was a lot better than Merlin’s, and they agreed to share a flat not far from campus, since Arthur refused to live in one of the college-owned accommodation. They agreed that Merlin would contribute with a small percentage of the rent as well as being responsible for cooking, washing and doing most of the cleaning. Merlin didn't mind the legwork; he had helped his mom with housekeeping since a young age and he was too glad for having made it to college to complain.

Arthur had had some trouble getting used to his new financial situation and he wouldn’t stop complaining about his constant shortage of money, but Merlin knew he wasn’t that broke; he had his mother’s inheritance revenue to rely on in an emergency and he could always ask his father for extra money, although he would rather cut off his own tongue than admit defeat.

It turned out they worked well together. Merlin got to live in a nice place close to campus, he had a room to himself and didn't have to worry too much about food money, since Arthur got most of the grocery shopping done for the both of them. Arthur, in turn, got to be as spoilt as he could with half the money and could always count on Merlin to call him off whenever he was being too much of an ass.

The downside was that Merlin soon found out that living with Arthur was starting to mess with his head. Merlin had always thought Arthur gorgeous and fit, but the fact that he was a bit of a bastard, straight as they come and taken - by none other than Gwen - had always toned down Merlin’s physical attraction for him. Now, not only Arthur was more fit than ever and ridiculously handsome - though still a bastard most of the time - he was also walking around in his boxers, leaving the bathroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around his hips and absent-mindedly invading Merlin’s personal space _all the time_.

Arthur had always been a physical kind of guy. He had the habit of looping an arm around people when he was talking to them, making up complicate greetings and handshakes, pushing and shoving and rubbing his knuckles on people’s scalp and so on, and so forth. Merlin had always been his favorite punch bag, but at least he wasn’t the only one back at secondary school. Now, in addition to that, Merlin also had to deal with Arthur sprawling across the couch in his most comfortable sweatpants while watching TV, allowing his legs to fall leisurely apart and giving Merlin an eyeful of his crotch, or lying down with his head or feet on Merlin’s lap, or inviting himself to Merlin’s bed when it was too cold at night and the heater refused to cooperate even though he had claimed the bigger bedroom to himself, arguing that it was only fair, since he paid most of the rent.

It was no wonder Arthur started to figure as the leading role on Merlin’s wank fantasies. And it was with no small amount of guilt that Merlin indulged himself in them. He started to avoid talking to Gwen, turning down her suggestions for the three of them to meet, blaming it on his new and exhausting routine as well as the amount of research and paperwork he had to deal with. Arthur complained about Merlin’s excessive studying and his blatant disregard for his long-time friends, but it was easy for him to say it. Somehow he always managed to get in the professor’s good graces and get good grades with little effort, while Merlin had to work his ass off to pass his classes.

A few months into their first year of Pre-Clinical, Merlin was shocked to learn that Gwen and Arthur had broken up. Arthur had been grumpy for a whole week, so Merlin had texted Gwen asking what had possibly crawled up her boyfriend’s ass, but Gwen had given him a short and blunt answer: “Don’t know, don’t care.”

It took Merlin another week and nearly a whole bottle of the whiskey Arthur kept for special occasions - Arthur drunk most if it, since Merlin was lightweight and didn't particularly care for whiskey - to make Arthur spit it out. He said Gwen had dumped him for no reason whatsoever and had probably been cheating on him with Lance since Sixth Form. Merlin doubted that was the case. He knew Lance had a massive crush on Gwen since forever, but between him and Gwen, Merlin wouldn’t know how to pick the most loyal friend or the noblest person to ever exist. Still, he allowed Arthur to get it off his chest without any reasoning or judgement, offering him some much needed comfort. After all, Merlin knew how hard it was for Arthur to acknowledge his own feelings, let alone admit that he was in suffering.

What started with an innocent and supporting hug, though, had somehow ended up with some serious snogging and heavy petting on the couch. Merlin had no recollection of starting it, but, however heavenly it felt to finally be kissing his crush, it also felt like he was cheating. Unlike Arthur, Merlin hadn’t been that drunk at the time and he shouldn't have taken advantage of Arthur's vulnerability like that. He felt like crap the next day when he woke up with his limbs tangled on Arthur’s, his neck sore from sleeping all twisted up and his pubes glued to his pants.

Merlin couldn’t look Arthur in the eye the following days. At first, he thought Arthur was regretting it too, for he was also doing his share of avoiding and was careful not to mention what happened when they couldn’t avoid talking to each other anymore. When the weekend came, though, Merlin had been studying in his bed when Arthur came back home smelling of alcohol after clubbing with some of their classmates. Arthur had stopped by Merlin’s bedroom door, staring at him intensely and ignoring Merlin’s alarmed questions while undressing to his undershirt and boxers. Without uttering a word, he had walked towards Merlin slowly and only a bit unsteadily before lying on top of him and kissing him senseless.

Merlin had been torn between his conscience and his cravings for a moment, until the lust got the better of him and he thought: “You know what? Screw it!”. He had been dreaming of that moment for so long he couldn’t help bringing himself off while sucking Arthur's cock and it had been _fucking mind blowing_. He was particularly proud of himself when Arthur came in his mouth crying out his name and he would dare say the lingering satisfaction had outcome the guilt this time.

It was still pretty awkward in the morning, though. Arthur woke up hungover and edgy, cursing as he stumbled to the bathroom while Merlin pretended to sleep. Arthur hadn’t come back to Merlin’s bedroom later, not even to retrieve his clothes, which Merlin dumped in the laundry basket later, sighing.

It happened again two weeks later. They had been treading carefully around each other lately, their conversations a bit hesitant, their teasing too tense to sound natural. Too many times Merlin had had the impression Arthur was about to say something only to give it up the next minute with a displeased frown on his face. One night, while staring unseeing at the telly, Merlin had been seriously considering telling him to forget it had ever happened so that they could go back to being easy friends when Arthur silently sat down on the couch next to him with a brand new bottle of whiskey.

Merlin had pretended to be engrossed on the TV show, but he couldn’t help sending some sidelong glances at his flatmate. Arthur caught him at it once and then his eyes never left Merlin as he downed dose after dose of whiskey. This time, the bottle was still mostly full when Arthur took action, launching himself at Merlin, mouth first. They exchanged some bruising kisses and hardcore groping before Arthur asked Merlin to blow him again, to which Merlin happily obliged.

“Don’t come yet,” Arthur said when Merlin moved to slip his hand inside his own pants.

After coming in Merlin’s mouth again, Arthur had pulled Merlin back up, kissing him as he reached inside Merlin’s pants to jerk him off. Merlin came all over his own pajama bottoms, moaning into Arthur’s mouth. They had shifted around on the couch after that until they found a comfortable position, dozing off with the TV still on.

At some point during the night, Merlin had woken up with Arthur poking at him.

“Come on, Merlin. Let’s put you to bed.” Arthur had guided a sleepy Merlin to his bedroom and tucked him in before leaving to his own room.

The next morning, Merlin wasn’t sure if that had really happened as he remembered or if he had dreamed the whole thing, after all the only things corroborating for it were his dirty pajama bottoms, although it could very well be the result of a wet dream.

It happened again a handful of times during the weeks to follow. Arthur was always the one to initiate it and his mouth was always tasting of some alcoholic beverage, although Merlin was starting to suspect he was drinking less and less of it. They never had all the way sex and never mentioned any of it by morning.

One Sunday morning, after his shower, Merlin had found Arthur in the living room, playing some video game.

“Ah, he lives!” Arthur grinned at seeing him, pausing his game and reaching for a box sitting on the coffee table. “I bought some donuts for us today. Wanna play something?”

It felt a lot like a trap, but Merlin would gladly walk into it for a single donut, let alone a box full of them.

About half an hour into their game, when the box was lying empty on the couch between them, Arthur finally cut to the chase. “We make a good team, don't we?” He asked without taking his eyes off the TV.

At this point, Merlin was too concentrated on winning their fight to wonder about Arthur's intentions. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, we’ve always worked good together, the both of us. You like to cook, I like to eat; I don't like the pizza crust, you do; I prefer exact sciences, you prefer humans; you like to give head, I like to get my dick wet-”

Merlin abandoned his game to gape at him. “ _What_?”

Arthur shrugged, pausing the game at the exact moment Merlin’s avatar got stabbed on the gut by a sword. The paused scene couldn’t be more ironic. “Well, it's true, isn't it? Perhaps we should make a deal of sorts. I mean, we have good chemistry, and it's sort of handy and practical. Of course we shouldn't let it affect our friendship and we should definitely continue seeing other people, specially since, you know, you're gay and I’m… not, but why not take advantage of this? It's a win-win situation, really.”

Merlin blinked, effectively stunned. He couldn't remember ever witnessing Arthur babbling like this. It was actually a Merlin thing, not his. “Are you suggesting we become friends with benefits?”

Arthur shrugged again, as if it was something trivial. “Yeah, I guess we could say that. What do you say?”

“Y-yeah, sure, I’m cool with that,” Merlin said, although he was far from cool. His brain had short circuited and was repeating parts of Arthur's words in a loop - like the “we have good chemistry” part - but all he could think was that he’d get to get laid on a regular basis. By _Arthur_.

Arthur grinned then, patting Merlin in the back. “Great!” He turned back to the TV. “Now focus on the fight. Honestly Merlin, it's getting boring to win _every fucking time_.”

And just like that, they had a deal. Whenever they felt like fooling around, all they had to do was ask or simply go for it. Most of the time, all it took was for them to look at each other before literally jumping at each other's throats. Arthur wasn't into being at the giving end of a blowjob, but he didn't mind giving handjobs and he was definitely willing to fuck Merlin stupid. It was kind of wonderful, like a wet dream coming true.

At least until Arthur started to actually date other people, which happened a mere couple of weeks after that.

Merlin played it cool on the outside, while internally falling apart. The worst part was that he didn't even have someone to talk to about it. Gwen and Will were totally out of question. His friends were Arthur's friends too, so he was reluctant to say anything to them and risk making them blame Arthur for Merlin's heartbreak. It wasn't really Arthur's fault. He was straight and horny and it wasn't like he was acting behind Merlin's back. He had been honest and open and Merlin had agreed with his terms. If there was anyone to blame, it was Merlin, who had gone and fell in love with him.

He ended up calling Lance, who used to be Merlin's friend long before Arthur’s. Lance was a good listener and he also was all about fairness, so he didn't jump to picking sides. He said Merlin should try and see other people as well and suggested he considered putting a stop to their shenanigans if it was causing him too much suffering, but Merlin couldn't bring himself to ever consider it. Maybe he was a bit masochist after all.

He tried dating other people, and it was mostly disastrous. He never went past the first date and never had sex with them. What was the point if he didn't really like them? After all, it wasn't like he was having blue balls any time soon, with Arthur's stamina.

Despite it being Arthur's idea that they shouldn’t be exclusives, Merlin noticed his bad mood whenever Merlin went out with someone. Arthur had always been a bit possessive of Merlin, so it wasn't any news, but Merlin knew it didn't mean any more than his usual twisted sense of property. It didn't stop Merlin from going out now and again, though. After all, he had to at least try to move on. He always locked himself in his room once he was back home to keep Arthur from barging in, sometimes wallowing on his incapacity to moving on, but once he was over it, Arthur would still be moody. The following sex was great, as if Arthur was trying to prove a point. Not that he needed to work so hard, since he was by far the best shag Merlin had ever had, but of course he wasn't going to admit it to Arthur's face.

Lance often pointed that Merlin wasn't highly invested in moving on and he was probably right, but the truth was Merlin had learned to accept and live with his unreciprocated feelings, at least until Arthur would get himself another serious girlfriend like Gwen and call the whole deal off.

Almost three years later, when Arthur mentioned it might be time for him to stop sleeping around, it was no wonder Merlin didn't take him seriously.

.Merlin.

Five months after Arthur's disastrous date with Vivian, Merlin was beginning to wonder if Arthur had really meant what he said. He hadn't been to a single date since then, at least not that Merlin knew of. Merlin had been so caught up in his studies and keeping up with his essays deadlines he hadn't even realized it until then.

Gwaine invited all of them for a weekend on his father's country house during summer break, so Arthur and Merlin packed their bags on Saturday morning and endured the three hours drive for the promise of one of Gwaine’s epic parties. Merlin wasn't used to car trips, therefore he really appreciated the fast moving landscape. Arthur was in a good mood and allowed Merlin to control the radio - well, he kept complaining about his music choices, but Merlin was still counting it as a win.

The country house was more like a mansion, with too many rooms to count. Merlin had been there twice before, but he doubted he would ever get used to how wealthy his friend’s parents were. Usually, Gwaine did everything in his powers to disassociate himself from their fortune and their lifestyle, but once a year he made an exception. Just like the other times, Gwaine invited the entirety of their old group from secondary school plus a bunch of his knew acquired friends. Only, he was a very popular guy. Merlin knew not everyone would be staying the whole weekend, but the house was already pretty packed when they arrived.

Merlin saw Gwen at the doorway when he left the car and grinned at her. “Let me see it!” He called instead of greeting her.

Gwen's face split up in a mischievous smile as she let out a high-pitched screech, jumping like a schoolgirl while keeping her arm stretched out so that Merlin could take a good look at her ring.

“Oh my God, it's so beautiful and classy! I knew Lance would nail it.”

“Yeah, right?” Gwen screeched her nose adorably, bringing her hand closer to better examine it as if she hadn't spent the last few days admiring it. “I still can't believe it!”

Merlin's smile became affectionate. “Oh, come here, you!” He hugged her tight. “I'm really happy for you guys.”

Gwen and him had re-established their friendship over the last year or so, although things had felt a bit awkward in the beginning. Merlin still didn't fully understand why she had distanced herself from him to begin with, but he figured it might have everything to do with her breaking up with Arthur. She must have thought he would take Arthur's side, since they had been so close, but he couldn't help thinking there was more to it.

Merlin had never confronted her motives, partly because it wasn't any of his business and she would have told him on her own by now if she really wanted him to know, and partly because he felt guilty for fooling around with Arthur right after their split up - and ever since.

Gwen and him were still working on getting their friendship to the previous level of naturality despite the distance, and it often felt like they were different people now, but Merlin still cared for her dearly and honestly wished her all the happiness in the world.

“I know! Thank you so much.” Gwen backed away just enough to look him in the eye. “I know how much Lance confides in you and he tells me he would never have asked me out in the first place if it wasn't for your pepping up.”

Merlin dismissed it with a wave of his hand. “Nonsense. You’re perfect for each other, you would have worked it out eventually. I'm actually surprised you didn't ask him out first.”

“Well, let's just say it was a close call.” She winked.

They heard someone clearing their throat and turned to see Arthur standing at their side with a neutral face and his hand stuck in his jeans pockets. “Guinevere,” he said, a bit too stiffly. “How are you?”

“Arthur.” Gwen straightened her back, her face going smooth. “I'm fine, thanks. How about you?”

“Good.” Arthur nodded with his head. He gestured vaguely towards Gwen's hand. “Congratulations on the... engagement.”

Gwen offered him a slight curtsy. “Why, thank you.”

Merlin rolled his eyes at them. “Why don't I leave you two to your heartfelt and not at all awkward talk and help myself in? I need to pee.” And with that, Merlin turned his back on them and entered the house.

.oOo.

Merlin found his way around the crowded house to the toilet, stopping now and again to shake hands with some acquaintances from the previous years. He crossed the house to the back, where there was more people parading around in fancy bathing suits, some of them already enjoying the swimming pool. It was a cloudy but hot day, so it was no wonder.

Merlin found Lance and Elyan by the beer barrel. “Isn't it a bit too early for that?” He asked, making them turn around in surprise.

“Merlin!” Lance put his cup away and wiped his hands on the apron he was wearing for some reason before hugging him.

“Hey, you look sexy, in that outfit,” Merlin teased.

“Well, that makes two people who have said that. And the other won a diamond for it. What should I get you?”

Merlin shrugged. “A beer’s fine.”

Merlin and Lance grinned at each other before Elyan stepped in between them, rolling his eyes. “I’d advise you against flirting with my soon to be brother in law. My sister doesn't tolerate competition and she's merciless.”

“Oh, I definitely want to stay on Gwen’s good side.” Merlin hugged Elyan too, patting his back. “It's so good to see you guys! Are the others here yet?”

“Only the ones that matter the most,” said Gwaine's voice from behind him and Merlin turned around to be enveloped in yet another tight hug. “I'm so glad you came!”

“I'm glad to be here!” Merlin said into Gwaine's neck.

“Wait, there's something wrong.” Gwaine looked around. “Where's your other half? Why's he allowing you to be all on your own in the midst of some handsome guys such as the three of us?”

Merlin rolled his eyes, not even bothering to correct him. “Arthur’s around. He was talking to Gwen when I last saw him.”

Merlin thanked Lancelot when he offered him a beer and took a sip.

“Well, let's hope he’ll survive ‘till the end of the day, then.” Gwaine winked and threw a hand over Merlin's shoulder. “Come, let me introduce you to some of the best good looking guys before he comes breathing over your neck. I trust you brought your swimming trunks?”

“Of course!”

“Good boy.”

Gwaine circled around the swimming pool with Merlin, making him shake hands with some familiar people and some complete strangers as well. Merlin soon found Percy, Mordred and his girlfriend, Kara, as well as Eira, Gwaine's girlfriend.

“And this is Myror,” Gwaine said as he introduced Merlin to a guy with chocolate colored skin, a shaved head and what looked like some nice pecs below his soft looking white T-shirt. “He’s Eira’s personal trainer and he's really good at throwing darts, so I’d advise you against competing with him. Myror, this is Merlin. He’s a meds student at Oxford and the best mate someone could ever ask for.”

“Nice to meet you, Merlin,” Myror said with a smile as he shook his hand.

“Likewise,” Merlin said, feeling his cheeks burn.

“Good.” Gwaine looked from one to the other with a sly smirk. “Now, I believe I heard someone struggling with the ice machine over there; Myror, show Merlin to the snack table, will you? I’ll be right back.”

Gwaine patted Merlin's back and winked at him before backing off. He hadn't reached far before he turned around again. “Oh, and Myror? Merlin is a lightweight, so keep him away from the bar if you want him to behave. Or not.”

And with that, he left, the bastard. Merlin should have guessed. Of course Gwaine was trying to set him up.

Merlin shot Myror a forced smile before looking away. “So, uhm, you're a personal trainer!” He stated stupidly.

Ugh, he was awful at this.

Myror nodded, looking amused. “And you're a lightweight medical student.”

Merlin slumped his shoulders. “I'm sorry, Gwaine's a bit of a thickheaded git and an awful matchmaker. He’s been trying to get me to date someone for some time now. I'm sorry you got dragged into this.”

Myror shrugged. “It's no trouble. Gwaine's a bit of a handful sometimes, but he's a nice guy. And he's really generous.”

“Yeah, he actually is. He doesn't like to be so stinking rich, but who does?”

Myror laughed at that and Merlin sipped at his beer to hide a smile. The guy had a nice laugh.

“Merlin!”

Merlin heard a familiar voice and nearly choked on his drink as he turned around to face a scowling Arthur.

“Where have you been? I've been calling out for you since we got here!”

“Well, you found me now.” Merlin said and shot Myror an apologetic look. “Myror, this is my friend Arthur.”

Myror greeted Arthur politely, offering his hand, which Arthur eyed warily before shaking. He turned back to Merlin. “You guys know each other?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh, no! We just met!” Merlin explained. “Myror is Eira's personal trainer.”

“Personal trainer, huh?” Arthur took another measuring look at Myror and Merlin had to fight the urge to cuff him in the head as he watched Arthur's lingering look on Myror’s chest. “I see. Well,” he looped an arm around Merlin's shoulders, “I should probably warn you, Merlin here's definitely not a potential client. He loathes any kind of physical activity. He doesn't even like to talk about it, you see?”

“Arthur?” Merlin warned between gritted teeth.

“But I assure you it's nothing personal,” Arthur amended, scrunching his nose in disdain, patting Merlin's nape and shaking him not too gently. “It might have something to do with him being terribly uncoordinated. And believe me, I know what I'm talking about, 'cause I’ve known him since Sixth Form.”

“Thanks for clearing that up,” Merlin said forcefully. He noticed Myror eyeing them one at the time, evaluating. Merlin turned back at Arthur. “Why were you looking for me again?”

“Oh, right.” Arthur pulled his arm free and reached in his pocket for the car keys. “Here. Fetch my swimming trunks, will you?”

Merlin stared at him blankly for a while. “You do realise I'm not your servant, right?”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Well, I figure you'll want to get yours, so why not bring mine too? Here, let me hold this for you.” He grabbed Merlin's beer can and promptly took a sip of it, grimacing. “It's warm, dammit. How long have you been holding this around? Frankly, Merlin...”

Setting his lips in a thin line, Merlin excused himself, too angry and embarrassed to properly look at Myror as he left.

.oOo.

Merlin got in and out of the swimming pool for the next couple of hours. He talked to people here and there, but his eyes kept meeting Myror's intense ones across the backyard. Merlin avoided getting closer to the guy again, though, if not for his own embarrassment, then because Arthur never seemed to be too far away, often crossing the whole pool to provoke Merlin some way or other, like a schoolboy pulling pigtails. Merlin also caught him exchanging a few unfriendly glared towards Myror, who seemed to respond in kind. Whatever had happened between the two of them after Merlin left, it sure hadn't been all pleasantries.

At some point, Merlin went back inside the house looking for Gwen. He found Leon in the living room, watching Elyan play table football against Mordred. There was a tall guy standing at his side, seeming absorbed by his own mobile. Leon introduced him as Morgana’s half-sister’s boyfriend, Cenred. The guy looked down on Merlin with a disdainful frown of his lips before shaking his hand. The next minute, he turned his attention back to his mobile as if Merlin had never been there. Leon sent him an apologetic smile before pointing to a door by the left, where Morgana had followed Gwen in.

Merlin found the both of them in the drawing room, together with Eira and a blond woman with black-rimmed eyes.

“Oh, speaking of my useless little brother...” Morgana exclaimed at spotting him, smiling and approaching to kiss his cheek, her bracelets tinkling as she moved. “It’s good to see you, Merlin. This is Morgause, my half-sister,” she gestured towards the blond woman. “Morgause, this is Merlin, my brother’s boyfriend.”

Merlin would probably have stuttered if he hadn’t been used to Morgana’s teasing by now.

“She means friend,” Merlin corrected quickly as he shook Morgause’s hand, offering her a polite smile. “Arthur and I are best friends. Nice to meet you.”

“Sure, darling.” Morgana rolled her eyes. She turned to face Morgause, lowering her voice as if Merlin couldn’t still hear her, standing right next to them. “They live together for about four years now.”

“We’re flatmates,” Merlin clarified again, to what Morgause simply raised her eyebrow.

“Whatever,” Morgana said, pulling Merlin toward the couch, where they had been serving themselves drinks at the coffee table. “Here, have a drink. You definitely deserve it after putting up with Arthur for so long.”

Merlin found it best not to contradict her and sipped at his drink, nibbling at the food as he mostly listened and laughed with them.

“Hey, Merlin?” They all turned around to look at Leon when he peeked inside the drawing room. “Arthur’s calling you to the pool. He said they’re playing water polo and they need a referee.”

“Pfff! Told you,” Morgana said, looking at Morgause. “They’re an old couple.”

It was Merlin’s turn to roll his eyes, placing his still mostly full glass on the coffee table. “He just wants me there to fetch him the ball.”

“Of course. He won’t have just anyone touching his balls, right?” Morgana said and they all burst into giggles.

Merlin prepared to say something in his defense, but gave it up, shaking his head and fighting a smile. “Alright, that’s enough gin and tonic for you guys.”

They merely laughed harder as he left.

.oOo.

The game was tiresome, but Merlin had to admit that he had fun blowing the whistle Gwaine had lent him and bringing order to the match. As Merlin predicted, he had to keep running after the ball whenever it kicked out of the water, but he often had help from the cheering crowd and he enjoyed having the last word for a change, like when Arthur had come to him questioning the ethics of Myror’s daring maneuver - which had earned his team a score - and Merlin had shaken his head at him adamantly, ordering him to stop whining like a baby and take his place.

Myror had winked at him and Merlin had blushed a deep red, blowing the match to continue in order to divert the attention from himself.

When the game was over and Myror’s team was claimed victorious - it was a close thing, but unquestionable - Arthur had gotten out of the water in a sour mood, heading for the bar.

“You played really nice,” Merlin said when Myror approached him in his red speedo.

“Thanks, ref,” Myror said playfully, sitting beside Merlin at the swimming pool border. “You really owned the whistle yourself. I got to admit, I didn’t think you had it in you.”

Merlin shrugged. “Yeah, well, I don’t get the chance to order people around very often. Gotta seize the opportunity, you see?”

“You definitely should take the lead more often.”

Merlin laughed and averted his eyes, trying not to blush like a damsel.

Myror stepped closer still. “You know, I’m starting to think Gwaine isn’t that bad a matchmaker after all,” he said in a deep voice, making the hair on Merlin’s arm stand on end.

Merlin was prevented to answer when Eira approached them with a tray of finger food. “Are you guys hungry?”

“Oh, I’m starving,” Merlin hurried to say, grabbing what looked like a fancy toast with a pink spread and stuffing his mouth with it in the least possible sexy way. “Hmm, this is delicious.” He said around a mouthful, then frowned. “Wait…” he looked up at Eira, who was distractedly explaining to Myror what each of the snacks were made of. “Is there shrimp in this?”

“Yes! As I was saying, it’s a shrimp paste my grandma-”

“Oh, bollocks,” Merlin cursed, jumping to his feet and looking around.

As he suspected, he spotted Arthur by the snacks table, distractedly talking to Percival as he reached for the food.

“Fuck!” Merlin said and set on a run, nearly knocking a frail looking girl into the water. He grabbed Arthur’s arm just when he was about to bring the pink toast to his mouth. “Arthur, no!”

“What the- Merlin, what the hell-” Arthur tried to shake Merlin off, but Merlin acted on impulse, bringing Arthur’s hand to his mouth and eating the thing from his fingers. Arthur’s eyes bulged as he looked from his fingers to Merlin’s mouth. “ _Mer_ lin!”

“It’s shrimp!” Merlin said coughing a bit, his eyes watering after he swallowed the thing nearly whole. He pointed at the sign at the table where the sea-food warning was half-covered by the paper napkins. “He’s allergic to it,” Merlin explained to the crowd now staring at him weirdly.

“Oh, dear,” Percy said and looked away. Merlin suspected he was fighting a smile, given the way the corner of his lips quivered.

“What in the fuck’s sake, Merlin!” Arthur was still fretting over it. “You nearly bit my fingers off!”

“Well, you still have your fingers and, thanks to me, you won’t have to make a trip to the hospital to take an antihistamine shot. You’re welcome, by the way.” Merlin accepted a cup of water someone - a vaguely familiar girl - offered him.

Arthur gaped at him before sighing. “Merlin,” he grabbed Merlin’s shoulders and flipped him around, showing him another tray of toasts in a pink shade very similar to the others, only it had another tag next to it. “What does it say in here?”

Merlin sighed, closing his eyes and feeling his cheeks heating up with embarrassment. “ _Ham_ paste, oh bollocks…”

Percy burst out laughing and Arthur followed right after him, doubling over as he guffawed. Arthur threw an arm over Merlin’s shoulder and pressed his nose to Merlin’s nape as he laughed harder. “Oh my God, Merlin, your face!”

“Shut _up_!” Merlin said, although he was also laughing now.

“What’s going on here?” Gwaine asked, making his way through the amused crowd.

“Merlin just saved my life!” Arthur said, wiping the tears off his eyes.

Gwaine smirked, folding his arms. “Why, I always knew you were a Princess, Arthur, now he's your Knight in shining armor!”

“Oh, I don't know, he’s more like a court jester.” Arthur put him in a headlock and rubbed his knuckles on Merlin’s scalp.

“And you're a royal pratt! Ow!”

While the others cheered and teased, Merlin struggled to get himself free from Arthur’s grip. Arthur refused to let go and they ended up back to chest when Arthur held him like a straitjacket, laughing. Merlin’s smile faltered when his eyes met Myror’s. The personal trainer had stepped closer to them and was now watching them with his arms crossed and his forehead wrinkled. He held Merlin’s stare for a couple of seconds before turning his back on them and walking back to the swimming pool.

.oOo.

When the sun begun to set, Gwaine put some music on and the small crowd moved from the swimming pool to the makeshift dance floor across from it. Merlin put his shirt back on and joined them, enjoying the music. He mostly moved to the beat, but didn’t walk away from anyone who approached him.

Arthur was never far from him. He would chat with some of the guys, dance with some of the girls, but always ended up circling around Merlin, leaning closer to say something or other close to his ear. Merlin mostly smiled and shook his head in answer, trying to have a good time on his own.

At some point, Merlin accompanied Mordred to the bar and chucked a few tequila shots before going back to the dance floor. He had almost forgotten about Myror until he had to go to the toilet and nearly stumbled on the man.

“Sorry, sorry,” Merlin said, stepping as far away as he could. “Whoa, I didn’t see you there.”

Myror arched an eyebrow. “Perhaps because I just turned around a corner?”

“Riiiight! Um.” Merlin scratched at his nape. “I might be a little drunk.”

“You don’t say,” Myror said, looking amused.

They stared at each other for a long moment and Merlin watched the amusement give way to guarded curiosity on the guy’s face.

“Look,” Merlin said, his shoulders sagging. “I’m sorry for earlier. It’s not that-”

“It’s alright,” Myror said, lifting his hand. “It’s not me, it’s you, I understand it.”

Merlin frowned. “You do?” He wasn’t sure he understood it himself, most of the time.

“Yeah.” Myror shrugged. “Whatever is going on between you and your friend, though, you should definitely sort it out soon.”

“What? Arthur?” Merlin shook his head. “No, no, no, it’s nothing like that. We’re just friends. He’s my flatmate.”

Myror huffed. “Sure. Whatever. I’ll be around if you change your mind and want to have some fun. Meanwhile, you should eat something to sober up.”

“Gotta pee first,” Merlin said stupidly.

Myror laughed. “You think you can make it to the loo by yourself?”

Fortunately, Merlin managed to reach the toilet on his own and wisely chose to sit down instead of trusting on his aim. He splashed some water on his face before going back to the party and walked straight to the snacks table. Whoever was in charge of the food seemed to be doing a good job of it, since the table was always full and with plenty of choices. Merlin sat by a stool with a plateful and chewed it lazily while watching Arthur chat with a girl near the dance floor. Merlin recognized her as the girl standing near them at the shrimp incident and suddenly he knew who she was.

Her name was Mithian and she had been all over Arthur last year as well. Merlin sighed, looking away. He had been trying to prepare himself for this, since he knew Arthur would hardly quit dating girls for good, but it was still hard to be proven right. He pushed the plate away, taking a sip of his soda.

“Hey, there,” Merlin felt a hand over his shoulder and looked to the side to see Lance taking the seat beside him. “Are you alright?”

“Sure,” Merlin said, forcing a smile. “I just lost my appetite.”

Lance looked up to where Arthur and Mithian were now dancing and laughing. “I see. So, it's finally happening again.”

“Yeah, it's not like I didn't see it coming.” Merlin shrugged.

Lance squeezed his shoulder before dropping his hand. “I hate to see you like this. Is there something I can do to make you feel better?”

Merlin was about to answer that there wasn’t much he could do rather than distract him when he was interrupted by Gwaine, who put a bottle of tequila over the table.

“Hey, look what I found!” He said cheerfully, placing three cups over the table. “You guys look like you need some of this.”

Lance sighed. “Of course.” He sounded resigned, holding his cup while Gwaine served him first.

Merlin placed his hand over his own cup. “Oh, no, not for me, thanks.”

“Why not? This is a fucking party, not a funeral!” Gwaine looked from Merlin to Lance. “What’s with the miserable faces?”

Lance looked at Merlin, who looked away.

“Alright, enough of this shit,” said Gwaine, putting the bottle back on the table and turning to face Merlin. “I was planning on waiting until you were properly loosened up before doing this, but you left me no choice. How long have you guys been shagging?”

Lance’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

Merlin blinked. “ _Sorry_?”

“You and Arthur,” Gwaine said, nodding with his head towards the dance floor. “How long have you been screwing each other on the sly?”

Merlin let out a nervous laughter, averting his friends’ stares. “You guys need to stop saying shit like that. People are starting to believe Arthur and I are really a couple.”

There had been this girl, Elena, who had claimed to have met his ‘boyfriend’ earlier, and now Myror. Not to mention Morgause, who kept shooting Merlin and Arthur measuring looks.

“It’s no shit, though, is it?” Gwaine said, his tone unnaturally serious as he looked from Merlin to Lance, then Merlin again. “At least for you.”

Merlin froze like a deer caught in headlights. He swallowed dryly, ignoring Lance’s worried face. “What- What do you mean?” Merlin was starting to panic. “Who told you that?”

“No one told me. No one had to.”

“Gwaine…” Lance started in a warning tone, but Gwaine turned his reproachful glare at him.

“Don’t ‘Gwaine’ me. There’s no way in hell you don’t know what’s happening here. It’s past time someone brings this up and it’s clear none of you numpties are going to do this, so back off.”

Lance’s eyes bulged, but he didn’t seem half as stunned as Merlin was.

Gwaine turned back at Merlin with a determined face. “Merlin, I know you guys fancy yourselves very discreet, but let me tell you something: you’re terrible at keeping it a secret. Especially Arthur. Do you know there’s a hickey on your nape?”

“What?” Merlin reached at the back of his neck, although he knew he wouldn’t be able to feel it.

“Well, you have a hickey. On your nape. And Arthur keeps stroking it whenever he gets the chance, haven’t you noticed it?”

“ _What_?” Merlin squeaked in all his eloquence.

Well, now that he stopped to think about it, Arthur had been grabbing Merlin’s neck a lot today, although Merlin hadn't realized he had been _caressing_ it. Until now.

“So, how long?” Gwaine looked from him to Lance again. “Is it since last year? Or before that? I mean, nothing would impress me at this point. Is it since Arthur and Gwen broke up? Or before that, maybe? Is this why they broke up?”

“No!” Merlin said at once and Gwaine looked like the cat who got the cream. “Arthur would never cheat on Gwen! Let alone with me!”

“So, not before that. Since they broke up, then?” Gwaine asked, relentless. “I’m guessing three to four years maybe? And you still believed you could keep this from us?”

“It’s not like that,” Merlin said instead of trying to deny it. He knew a lost cause when he saw one. “We’re not together.”

“What is it like then, huh? Come on, enlighten me.”

Merlin looked at Lance hoping that his friend would help him, but he seemed very focussed on his tequila shot.

Merlin sighed. “We’re not a couple, alright? Arthur is straight!”

Gwaine scratched his chin, scowling. “Is he, though? I mean, at first he at least tried to keep the pretense, but now he doesn’t seem to be bothering. How long since the last time he dated a girl?”

“That’s not the point,” Merlin shook his head, pointing to where Arthur was still dancing with Mithian. “See? He’s flirting with that cousin of yours. The one he hooked up last year.”

“You call this flirting?” Gwaine made a dismissing gesture with his hand. “She’s been trying to get into his pants the entire day. If Arthur had any intention to pull, he’d be upstairs by now, like last year, and the years before that. Instead, he’s been gravitating around you and shooting daggers at Myror through his eyes. Honestly, if looks could kill, Myror would be cold by now.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. “There’s nothing new about that. He’s always behaving like he’s our big brother, keeping the scoundrels at bay or something.”

“Na-ah,” Gwaine shook his head. “Granted, he’s always been wary of strangers trying to infiltrate our group, but you’re a special case and you know it. He’s always been jealous of you, starting with Will. And don’t try to pass it like he’s jealous of you as a friend,” he continued when Merlin was preparing to answer. “Myror’s not your childhood mate nor trying to be. The only thing he was trying to get intimate with is the inside of your pants. Which brings the question: why _aren’t_ you getting laid yet, if you’re not together, as you claim? Last I checked, Myror was ogling you all through the match today!”

Merlin sighed, pressing his nose bridge. “I’m not in the right state of mind for this now, Gwaine.”

“You’re never in the right state of mind. And the truth is you’re not even trying to be!”

“Gwaine, that’s enough-” Lance tried again.

“No, Lance, it’s not nearly enough. Merlin needs to face it and you know it. You’re just too soft to push him.” Gwaine addressed Merlin again, ignoring Lance’s crossed face. “You’ve got to stop being so self-sacrificing and act on your own interest for a change! It’s too convenient for him the way it is. If you want him to make an actual move, you’ve got to make him work for it!”

“I’m not trying to make him do anything!” Merlin finally snapped angrily. “I don’t expect him to declare his long repressed feelings for me ‘cause I really don’t believe there’s more to it than what we already have! We’re really good friends who sometimes fool around, that’s it! He made it pretty clear since the very beginning and I agreed to his terms. I can’t ask more of him than what he’s willing to give me, so I rather have the little I can get than nothing at all. There! I’ve said it. Are you happy now?”

“Oh, Merlin…” Gwaine’s eyebrows arched in pity, his tone softening. “What if he backs off anyway? What if he decides it’s time for him to settle down and get married to a nice rich lady such as Mithian? You’ll just back off as if he owes you nothing? As if he haven’t kept you at his reach, just in case he needs you? As if you haven’t lost the last few _years_ of your life pining for him?”

“It’s not his fault that I’m pinning, is it?” Merlin shot back.

“But he’s clearly pining for you too! Only he’s too deep in the closet to do anything about it!”

Merlin felt his eyes prickle as he sighed, tiredly. “Gwaine, please, stop saying that. I know you have the best of intentions, but please don’t.”

“Gwaine.” This time Lance reached across the table to touch Gwaine’s arm. “Enough.”

Gwaine blew the air out of his lungs noisily. “Alright, fine…” He raised his open hands. “I’ve said what I had to say to you anyway. I just hope you don’t regret your decisions in the future.”

It was Merlin’s turn to reach Gwaine’s arm and give it a reassuring squeeze. “I won’t. And even if I do regret, I’m a big boy. I can handle it.”

Gwaine sighed and shook his head, but placed his hand over Merlin’s and brought it to his lips, kissing his knuckles. “I know you can. I just wished you didn’t have to.”

“What’s going on here?”

They looked up to see Arthur looking at their joined hands and Merlin pulled his hand free in a reflexive reaction.

“Um...” Merlin tried to come up with something to say before Gwaine could react, but Gwaine was on his feet in a heartbeat, with a humorless smile on his lips.

“Why do you care? Aren’t you busy catching up with my cousin?”

Arthur arched his eyebrow at him, but ignored the comment, looking at Merlin. “Where have you been? Aren’t you going to dance anymore? You seemed to be having fun.”

“I was hungry,” Merlin tried to look nonchalant.

“Have you eaten yet? You know you can’t handle alcohol with an empty stomach.” Arthur eyed the tequila bottle and Merlin’s still half-full plate, then peeked at the nearby snacks table. “You know what, I’m starving too. I’ll be right back.”

He turned around and left. Gwaine rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath before finding Eira. Merlin and Lance exchanged a look.

“How about a toast?” Lance offered once they were left alone again.

“Hell, yes,” Merlin reached for the bottle.

.oOo.

The party went on deep into the night. After drinking and eating some more with Arthur, Merlin went back to the dance floor and managed to distract himself to the point of getting some actual fun. It helped that Mithian was nowhere to be seen and Arthur wouldn’t stop telling some silly anecdotes above the loud music, making Merlin laugh until his belly hurt.

At some point, Mordred came to say goodbye, saying he’d be heading back to London to offer some assistance to Kara’s sister, who seemed to have had a small accident - nothing serious, he assured. As the hours passed, more people left, until Gwaine called the party off  for the day at four am, tuning off the music and directing people to find a bed - or couch, or air mattress - to get some sleep in.

Merlin got the car keys with Arthur to fetch their backpacks and yawned as he climbed the stairs to the top floor. He could hear Arthur’s whining as he rounded a corner to one of the big bedrooms, with several single and bunk beds. He was arguing about something with Gwaine.

“... not sleeping in a single! I never slept in a single before! You always gave me one of the master bedrooms!”

“That’s because you had company, which you don’t seem to have now, since my cousin left unexpectedly early.”

Merlin leaned on the doorframe as he watched them bickering about, unwilling to call attention on himself. He was so tired he could probably sleep in a chair. Preferably a cushioned one.

“What about Mordred’s room, then? He had to leave, so you can give me his room, right? I’m even willing to share it with Merlin, if you make a point of not wasting a double mattress...”

“How completely altruistic of you,” Gwaine said, sarcastic, although he seemed to have recovered his good humor since their talk. “Actually, I was saving that room, you know, just in case.”

“Just in case of what?”

“Oh, I don’t know… Myror and Merlin seemed to have shown an interest towards each other, don’t you think?”

Merlin’s back stiffened. He must have let out a surprised sound, for Arthur and Gwaine looked at him at once.

“Oh, there you are. We were just talking about you,” Gwaine said, smirking as he approached him. “You know, there’s still time for you to get some quality time with Myror. Have I mentioned he’s a massage therapist too? And a very skilled one, I might add. He gave me a back massage the other day…” Gwaine moaned, reaching at his own lower back, as if reliving the sensation. “You know I don’t bend that way, but I still had a boner when he was done. Lucky for Eira,” he winked and waggled his eyebrows. “So? Any second thoughts?”

At his side, Arthur’s jaw muscle twitched as he watched Merlin with intent, oozing displeasure.

“Er… no, thanks,” Merlin said and watched Arthur’s shoulders relax a fraction. “I’m really tired, though. Anywhere’s fine for me.”

“Of course not,” Arthur rushed to say, stepping beside Merlin to glare at Gwaine. “Come on, have a little consideration for your long time friends here. If not for me, then for Merlin, who needs some proper rest with some peace and quiet.”

“Oh, I don’t know…” Gwaine scratched his trimmed beard. “What do you say, Merlin? Do you mind sharing with Arthur?”

Merlin opened his mouth to answer, but Arthur beat him to it.

“Of course he doesn’t mind it. He’s used to it by now,” Arthur dismissed it.

“Oh, really?” Gwaine feigned surprise. “How so?”

Arthur looked away, seeming to finally realize what he had said. “Uh, It’s kind of a matter of survival, you see? Our flat’s heater doesn’t work that well; it’s perpetually cold, so we work with what we’ve got. Come on, show us this room already.”

Arthur nearly pushed Gwaine out of the door and into the corridor, his face almost bored, although Merlin could see the wrinkles on his forehead. Gwaine lead them to a double room with no further argument and left to help other guests settle in, leaving they both alone.

Once the door was closed, they set to get ready for bed in silence, taking turns on the ensuite bathroom. Merlin finally got to lay down on the soft mattress face first and he groaned, feeling his muscles tingling from the sudden relaxation.

“You really are that tired, aren’t you?” came Arthur’s voice at his side.

Merlin frowned, keeping his eyes shut. “I think I’m already hungover.”

Arthur chuckled. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you were.” He tapped Merlin’s shoulder and squeezed, making Merlin groan again. “Would you like me to give your back a rub?”

Merlin’s eyes snapped open and he turned to the right to look at Arthur, searching for any sign of teasing. Arthur’s face seemed earnest enough. Still...

Merlin’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Do you happen to know how to give a back rub?”

“It can’t be that hard, right? And you can always ask me to stop if it’s not to your liking.”

Merlin hesitated for a moment, but ended up shrugging. “Sure, why not?”

“Alright,” Arthur said in a blink, getting up from the bed. “Take off your shirt. I think I saw a body lotion in the bathroom.”

Merlin sighed, but did as he was told. He closed his eyes again as he laid back down, waiting. Arthur came back with a bottle of perfumed moisturizing cream and unceremoniously sat down on Merlin’s behind before getting started.

Merlin kept quiet at first, marveling at the heaviness of Arthur’s big hand on his tired muscles. Arthur was no expert, but the way he rubbed at the muscles on Merlin’s neck got him groaning in appreciation. When Arthur put pressure on his lower back, Merlin unabashedly moaned, welcoming the pleasure-pain. He relaxed into Arthur’s ministration until he felt like he was floating…

.oOo.

Merlin woke up with the sun shining in all its glory through a slit in the heavy curtains of the unfamiliar room. He could hear chatter, laughing and splashing coming from outside. He looked around and found Arthur asleep by his side. He peeked at his watch, startled at realizing it was already past noon.

Merlin sat up and worked his shoulders and arms, feeling his muscles blissfully relaxed, although he could still feel a bit of a headache from last night’s drinking. He could still smell the fruity moisturizing on his skin. He grabbed a change of clothes and headed for the shower, careful not to wake Arthur.

.oOo.

Merlin found Gwen at the kitchen and thanked her profusely when she offered him a plateful of scrambled eggs. There was still some fancy food from the last day and Merlin could see some of the people walking around wearing bathing suits and holding cans of beer, but he needed a proper breakfast if he intended to properly function for the day to come - or what was left of it.

Merlin and Gwen chatted for a bit and were soon joined by Eira and Elena, the friendly blond girl Merlin had met the day before. She managed to be even clumsier than Merlin, but she was really nice. They were just asking Merlin to be their ref on a girls versus boys match of water polo when Gwaine joined them.

“So, did you have a nice sleep? Or did you sleep at all?” He asked with a smirk on his face.

“Merlin!” Gwen said, offering him a naughty smile. “You didn't tell me you had company to sleep! Was it that gorgeous personal trainer Lance introduced me to?”

“Myror?” Eira frowned. “He slept down here, at the living room. I think he's at the pool now.”

Gwaine snorted. “And you think Arthur would allow Merlin to sleep with Myror without making a scene?”

“Arthur?” Elena sounded intrigued. “The… not boyfriend?”

Merlin was too busy avoiding Gwen’s eyes to properly look at them, so he kept his eyes on his now empty plate. “We just shared, that’s all.”

“‘Cause they’re used to it,” Gwaine explained to the others, sounding amused. “Something to do with a malfunctioning heater, from what I heard. Although I wouldn’t put it past Arthur to have broken the thing himself.”

“Look,” Merlin said, looking up at Elena, “he’s straight, alright? We've been good friends since forever and we’re flatmates.” How many times would he have to repeat this? He was getting tired of this. “Don’t listen to Gwaine, he talks a lot of bullshit.”

Merlin’s eyes met Gwen’s briefly before he looked away again. He couldn’t tell for sure what he saw on her face and he was too afraid to find out. He didn’t think he could lie to her if she asked him directly.

“Speaking of the devil,” Gwaine said and Merlin looked up to see Arthur entering the kitchen. He was wearing fresh clothes and his hair was still dump from the shower. His sunglasses were hanging on his T-shirt collar, like usual, and he had a sour expression on his face as he fixed his eyes on Merlin.

Arthur walked straight to him and dumped both their backpacks into Merlin’s lap, throwing the car keys into the table. “Take these to the car. We’re heading back in a bit.”

“So soon?” Eira asked, standing up. “I thought you guys were going to enjoy the pool with us!”

“Merlin was going to referee for us!” Elena whined.

“No, he’s not anymore. Unless he’s found himself another ride, that is,” Arthur said, looking around. “Is there any tea around here?”

Eira set to point him towards the hot water and tea bags. Merlin followed them with his eyes until he felt a light touch to his shoulder and turned to face Gwen.

“You could go back with Morgana and Leon this evening,” she offered with a kind smile. “I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.”

Merlin thought about being in a car with Cenred and Morgause and pulled a face. “I think I’d better go now. It’s alright.” He said as he stood up, picking up their bags and the car keys. “Maybe next time I’ll play with you guys, yeah?”

He excused himself and left the kitchen, ignoring Elena’s sympathising smile and Gwaine’s intense stare. He didn’t escape Gwen, though, since she followed him out towards the car and waited for him to put their bags inside, her arms crossed and a determined set to her lips.

“I think we need to talk,” she said once Merlin closed the door again.

Merlin sighed, leaning over the car and rubbing at his temples. “Does it have to be right now?”

Gwen’s face became worried. “Merlin, do you know why Arthur and I broke up?”

Merlin’s head snapped up in a blink. He assessed her closely. “No?”

It was Gwen’s turn to sigh. “Of course he wouldn’t tell you,” she said and walked closer to him, leaning against the car by his side. “Oh, Merlin, I’ve been a crappy friend to you, haven’t I?”

Merlin was about to tell her _he_ was the crappy friend out of the two of them when he thought about what she had said. “What do you mean, he wouldn’t tell me?”

“I should have told you this years ago, but I was so angry at him! I should have guessed he would never have admitted his feeling, but I never thought he would be capable of leading you on like this! I thought you were playing hard to get so that he had to work for it or at least admit it!”

“Gwen, slow down,” Merlin asked. “I’m not following. What the hell are you talking about?”

Gwen took a deep breath. “Alright. This is _so_ embarrassing.” She said and looked anywhere but at Merlin. “So, you see, we broke up because… He called your name while I was going down on him.”

Merlin stared at her while her words sunk in. “ _What_?” He asked when it still didn’t make any sense.

Gwen grabbed Merlin by the shoulders and shook him. “He called- No, no, he _cried out_ your name when he _came_!”

Merlin gasped. “No, no, no, Gwen, you must have misheard it!”

Gwen was already shaking her head. “I wished I had, at the time. But he had been with his eyes closed all through it, and then he said your name and his eyes snapped open like he had just realized he had said it out loud! It was written all over his face just how guilty he was. And the worst thing was that it made so much _sense_! I mean, we had worked out well so far because _you_ were always around, and then, when he went to Oxford he seemed so distant, so detached. He kept complaining that you studied too much and didn’t hang out with us anymore. He didn’t miss me as much as he missed _the three of us together_! And he was always jealous, always provoking you, and the way he didn’t seem able to keep his hands off of you-”

“But he’s straight!”

“I don’t think he is, Merlin.” Gwen said earnestly. “I think he’s fallen for you pretty hard since forever, only he’s too stubborn to acknowledge it. Besides, I don’t think he feels like he has to.” She assessed him for a moment. “You’re shagging him, aren’t you?”

“I-I- Uh…” Merlin looked away, feeling his cheeks heating up. Damn. He couldn't’ lie to her and she knew it.

“Oh, Merlin,” Gwen moaned. “How can you still think he’s straight?”

“We’re not together!” Merlin cleared out. “We’re just fuck buddies! We still see other people…”

“Like you were seeing Myror and he was seeing Mithian?” Gwen asked, sarcastic. “Merlin, admit it, you guys are a couple!”

“We’re-”

Merlin was cut off by the noise of the door to the house bouncing on the wall and they both tuned to the porch to see Arthur storming out. They saw Gwaine stepping out right after him, looking angry as well.

Gwen and Merlin watched as Arthur crossed the parking space and got into the car, slamming the door and starting the engine. They shared a stunned look.

Merlin turned to Gwaine. “What did you say to him?”

Gwaine shrugged, crossing his arms. “Nothing that he shouldn’t already know.”

Arthur lowered the window on the passenger side. “Merlin! Are you coming or what?”

“Gotta go,” Merlin said, offering Gwen an apologetic smile as he hugged her goodbye.

“We’ll talk later,” she promised, squeezing him back. “And I’m sorry for pushing you away. I really am.”

“Forget it. I understand.”

Arthur stepped on the gas the moment Merlin got inside the car.

.oOo.

The ride back to Oxford was silent and awkward like never before. Merlin had too much on his mind to give a damn about what Gwaine might have said to Arthur. Gwen’s words - and Gwaine’s before hers - kept playing over and over in his head.

What if they were right? What if Arthur really wasn’t that straight? What if he had been attracted to Merlin since they were teenagers?

If it were so, why wouldn’t he admit his feelings? Was he ashamed? Was he afraid? Was he fighting against it all this time? Had his dates with girls been a calculated cover or feeble attempts to convince himself he was straight?

Why wasn’t he dating anymore, then? Why had he turned Mithian down last night? Why was he so annoyed this morning?

He couldn’t find answers to his questions and Arthur was not in the right mood to answer, even if Merlin were willing to ask them out loud. Arthur had locked himself in his room as soon as they arrived and had left only once to grab something to eat.

Merlin did the most sensible thing to do in these situations: he decided to go visit his mother.

He had been intending to find a temporary job during the summer break, so he called his mother and asked her if she knew of anything back in Ealdor. Fortunately, Mr. Morris had been searching for someone to cover for Freya’s upcoming vacations at the local pub, so it was all set by evening.

Merlin knocked on Arthur’s door to let him know he’d be taking the first train the next morning and would stay with his mom for at least two weeks.

“Two weeks?” Arthur asked, indignant. “And you’re only telling me this now?”

“I just called my mother and she told me Mr. Morris was complaining he couldn’t find anyone to cover for his helper’s leave, starting tomorrow.” Merlin shrugged. “I thought I could help him out _and_ give her some company. It’s not like I planned this. Besides, aren’t you supposed to go to London this week?”

“Yeah, but I thought you’d be coming with me! I told you my father could get you a temporary job there.”

Merlin wrinkled his nose. He wasn’t very keen on asking Uther Pendragon for a job, no matter how short-termed it would be. The man hadn’t exactly welcomed him warmly the few times Merlin had accompanied Arthur to visit him.

“Maybe some other time,” Merlin said. “Gotta go to sleep now. I’ll have to get up early tomorrow.”

With that, Merlin closed the door and walked back to his own room before Arthur could say anything. By the look on his face, he hadn’t been about to wish him a safe trip.

.Merlin.

“So,” his mother said once they were sitting on the couch of his childhood home. “What's wrong?”

Merlin shrugged. “Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine.”

Hunith addressed him a skeptical look. “You wouldn't be here if that were true. You think I don't know you only come here at Christmas and when you're in need of your mother's lap?”

Merlin opened his mouth to object, but ended up sighing in defeat. “I needed some time away.”

“From whom?”

Merlin toyed with the seams of his jeans. “From Arthur.”

“Oh,” Hunith sounded surprised. “That's a first. What's happened between the two of you?”

“It's a long story.”

“I have time. I won’t be leaving to work until one in the afternoon.” She smiled sweetly. She stood up from the chair she had been sitting and joined her son on the bigger couch. “Come on.” She tapped her lap in an invitation.

Now, Merlin couldn't resist that, could he? And just like this, he found himself laying his head on his mother’s lap and telling her everything from the very beginning. She didn’t seem very surprised, although Merlin could see there was something troubling her by the way she frowned, looking into space.

“Have you known it?” Merlin asked, remembering how every one of his friends seemed to have guessed it by themselves.

Hunith sighed. “I knew you were in love with him a long time ago,” she said, offering him a sad smile as she continued to caress Merlin’s hair. “And I suspected he felt the same, but I always thought him to be too inept with figuring out his own feelings, let alone expressing them. Besides, he has a difficult relationship with his father and no one to open up to, so I always thought that he was trying to prevent disappointing Uther by not acknowledging his own feelings for you.” She frowned again. “But I admit I never thought him capable of using you like this.”

Merlin got up at once. “He’s not using me. I told you, we had an agreement. I consented to this.”

He had never thought he'd live to see the day he would have to defend Arthur from his mother. It was always the other way around. She seemed to have adopted Arthur from the moment she learned that his mother had passed away at his birth.

Hunith glared at him from the corner of her eyes. “Your consent is questionable. I know you very well. I know you’d do anything for Arthur. And Arthur is not a fool, he certainly knows that as well. He should have thought better before coming up with that proposal.”

Merlin started to protest, but thought it better to abandon that train of thought. “Why does everybody think he’s not that straight?”

“Oh, darling,” Hunith gave him a pitying look. “Have you seen the way he looks at you?”

“Like he’s about to laugh at me or order me around?”

“That’s just his way of calling your attention. I’m talking about the way he looks at you when he thinks you’re not aware of it.”

Merlin was intrigued now. “How does he look at me?”

“Like you hung the moon and the stars.” Hunith smiled. “Like he can’t believe you’re his best friend and he gets to spend time with you all by himself.”

Merlin snorted. “He has a funny way of showing it.”

“That’s because he doesn’t know how to deal with what he feels.”

Merlin looked away, trying to bring some order to his thoughts. “Alright, so what if it’s true? What if he does have feelings for me and doesn’t want to acknowledge them? What should _I_ do?”

“What do you feel like doing?” Hunith asked in return.

“Mom!” Merlin pleaded. “I came here for your advice, not for a therapy session!”

“Well, I’m sorry, but you’re a grown man now, I can’t tell you what to do!” Hunith reprimanded. “Besides, you didn’t ask for my advice before starting this whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing, or whatever you call it nowadays. You have to make your own decisions now.”

Merlin felt like he could cry. And the worst thing was she was right.

“I don’t know what to do,” he admitted.

Hunith shifted so that she was facing him properly now. “Alright, how about this, then. Do you know what you _don’t_ want to do?”

Merlin didn’t have to think that hard to answer this question. “I don’t want to force him to come out if he’s not ready for it. But I don’t want to stop sleeping with him either. Everybody seems to think I’m the victim here, but I’m doing it for the most selfish possible reasons. I like being with him and I don’t want to put an end to this. I don’t want to move on. Maybe I’ll suffer if he decides to dump me someday to prove to his father he’s an exemplary straight son, but I’ll also suffer if I leave him now, so what’s the point?”

“You might pass up the chance of being happy with someone else,” Hunith reasoned. “Someone who has no fear of admitting how they feel about you.”

“That’s a big ‘maybe’ and I will probably lose Arthur’s friendship if I choose to be with someone else. Like when I was dating Will. I don’t want that either.”

Hunith closed her eyes for a moment before nodding. “Alright. It seems like you’ve set your mind on this already. But you don’t have to decide it just yet. Maybe this time apart from him will be good for you. I just want you to know that I’ll support you, no matter what you choose to do.”

Merlin hugged her tight. “Thank you, mom. You’re the best.”

.Merlin.

Merlin did think it over during the next week. He also got plenty to distract himself with, attending the busy pub from four in the afternoon until eleven in the evening day after day. As usually happens in every small town, everybody knew who he was and where he lived and what he was studying, even though he didn’t know most of them or simply couldn't remember, since he had left to live with his father in London when still a teenager. Also, people were more friendly and less guarded here and many went to the pub just to have a nice chat with whomever happened to be there.

Merlin enjoyed the light atmosphere and didn’t mind all the chatting. If he had to deal with one drunkhead or other at times, he never allowed it to ruin his mood. He also happened to be flirted with at some occasions, but he always took it as a compliment and no one ever pushed it, so he was okay with that.

He also happened to spend a lot of time with his mother. She worked as a housekeeper at the only hotel in town and she managed to change her shift with her co-workers so that the two of them got to be home together most of the time. He hadn’t realized how much he missed her until then and he made sure to help her with the cooking and housekeeping.

He didn’t completely forget Arthur, though. They exchanged a few text during the day, and a few more at night, before going to sleep, but Merlin stayed awake for what felt like hours after that, thinking.

At the beginning of the second week, Merlin startled awake in the middle of the night with the doorbell ringing. He reached for his phone to check the hour. It was just past two in the morning. He heard his mother’s bedroom door opening and hurried to follow her.

“Let me answer it,” Merlin said, trying to get past her, but his mother threw him a murderous look as she continued to walk towards the door.

“You stay right there and let me deal with this. If that jackass the Donalds call their son is doing drugs again, I swear I’ll castrate him.”

Merlin was about to argue when he saw her grabbing a baseball bat by the door and backed off, doing as he was told for once. He watched her peek through the peephole in expectancy, wishing he had thought of bringing his phone in case he needed to call the police.

“Arthur?” Hunith said, lowering the bat.

“What?” Merlin said, watching his mother unlocking the door and opening it wide to reveal a guilt-stricken Arthur.

“I’m sorry…” Arthur said, his eyes lowering to the bat Hunith was still holding, then moving up to her tight-lipped face. He cleared his throat, looking slightly frightened. “I’m sorry I came without warning and so late, er… I probably should have gone straight to the hotel. You know what, maybe that’s what I’ll...” He made a gesture with his finger as if he was about to turn around and flee.

“Arthur,” Merlin said, stepping past his mother, “what are you doing here?”

“I, uh,” Arthur shifted from one foot to the other, then scratched his neck. “I had a falling out with my father and… I thought I could come here?” He sent a surreptitious look over Merlin’s shoulder, his eyes round. “I’m sorry, I should really have thought this through, maybe gone back to Oxford to stay the night and come here by morning-”

“Oh, come inside already,” Hunith said in an annoying tone, pulling Merlin from the door so that Arthur could step in.

Merlin eyed her with a frown, wondering why she seemed so annoyed. She usually welcomed Arthur with a hug and a tray of baked goods. Was this just about the bad timing or did it have something to do with what Merlin had confessed to her the other week? She hadn’t seemed so upset at the time.

“Thank you, Hunith,” Arthur said as he came inside, carrying his backpack over his shoulder.

Hunith didn’t say anything back, busying herself with the lock. Thankfully, she had put away the bat.

“What happened?” Merlin asked, worried.

“I don’t really want to talk about it.” Arthur avoided his eyes and followed Hunith as she walked to the kitchen and picked up the kettle. “Hunith, you don’t have to bother with anything for me. You may go back to sleep, I wouldn't like to disturb you any more than I already have. It’s bad enough that I’m imposing myself on you, the least I can do is manage on my own.”

Hunith sighed as she put the kettle on, then looked at him tiredly. “It’s alright, you’re always welcome here, Arthur, although I wouldn’t have minded some warning beforehand. Merlin, see that he has everything he needs for the night, will you?”

“Thank you,” Arthur said again as she left the kitchen.

Merlin frowned at her back, but shook his head, asking Arthur to sit and setting to prepare them some tea.

“Why didn't you tell me you were coming?” Merlin asked once he was sitting in from of him at the kitchen table.

Arthur rubbed at his eyes. “I lost my phone,” he said simply, taking a sip of his mug.

“Is that why you haven't answered my texts since last evening?” Merlin asked, assessing him closely. He looked weary, only Merlin couldn’t tell if it was just from the trip or from his arguing with his father. Probably both.

Arthur merely shrugged in response, keeping his eyes on the table cloth.

“How long do you plan on staying?”

He shrugged again. “I thought I could stay until the end of the week, so that I could give you a ride back? I mean, if that’s alright with your mother.”

Merlin arched an eyebrow at him. “You know I’m here to work, right?”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “I know. I promise I won’t get in your way.”

“And you know this is not London, right?” Merlin pressed on. “There’s no mall in here or movie theater or anything to do to pass the time besides taking a hike at the park and watching TV?”

Arthur set him an annoyed look. “I’m sure I’ll manage.”

He was starting to look like himself again.

Merlin nodded. “Okay, I’ll talk to my mom in the morning.” He stood up and grabbed their empty mugs. “Come on, now. We should go to sleep.”

As soon as they left the kitchen, though, they froze at seeing Hunith throwing a sheet over the sofa.

“What are you doing?” Merlin asked, confused.

“Preparing Arthur’s bed,” Hunith said simply.

“I thought you said I should arrange that? I was thinking about setting the spare mattress in my room, like always-”

“I got rid of that mattress,” Hunith said as she set a pillow and a blanked on the now covered sofa. “It was too old and smelly.”

Merlin frowned. “Are you sure?” He could swear he had seen the single mattress under his bed just this morning, the same Arthur had slept on countless of times before, as he usually joined them for holidays since forever.

Hunith was addressing Arthur, though. “You’ll have to make do with the couch this time, Arthur, I’m sorry.”

“It’s no problem at all, Hunith. I appreciate it, honestly.”

“Well, I’ll see you both in the morning,” she said and left before any of them could say any more.

“Well…” Arthur said, looking at the sofa with poorly hidden disappointment. “I guess it’s better than the floor or sleeping in the car.”

Merlin considered him for a moment. “You know, I wouldn’t mind sharing with you, if you’d like. You know it’s a single and it’d probably be a bit cramped, but…”

“It’s fine. I’ll survive,” Arthur said and put his backpack on the floor as he sat down on the sofa, taking his shoes. “Go to sleep, Merlin.”

Merlin bid him goodnight and left to his room. As soon as he got there, he crouched down to look under his bed. The mattress was still there, as he had suspected it to be.

.oOo.

Merlin had trouble sleeping that night. He couldn’t stop thinking about his mother’s brunt replies and stern eyes, or Arthur’s tired and melancholic face, or picture him shifting on the couch, trying to find a comfortable position.

When he woke up, the sun was already up and shining and there was a sweet and familiar smell in the air. As he followed the smell, he found the sofa empty and listened to muffled voices coming from the kitchen. He felt wary for a moment that his mother might be scolding Arthur. He had a sudden vision of Arthur stomping out like he had at Gwaine’s country house.

When Merlin turned the corner for kitchen, though, he found them sitting by the table and leaning towards each other as if sharing a secret.

“... sure he won’t mind the moving, if you’re…” Hunith spotted Merlin and cut herself in the middle the sentence. “Oh, there you are!” She said and smiled, getting up and moving to the oven. “I was just wondering if the cookies might finally wake you up.”

Arthur twisted around to look at him, smiling brightly. “Hey. Good morning, lazy daisy.” He sipped at his tea.

“What’s going on here?” Merlin asked, looking from one to the other with growing suspicion.

“I was just asking your mother for some advice,” Arthur said, looking at Hunith when she came with the hot tray of cookies. “This smells delicious.”

“Careful, my dear,” she said as she picked the cookies with the spatula and put them on the table to cool down, then started to take off her apron. “Well, I better head off now or Mrs Jones and Miss Everdeen will take all the good stuff and leave me the stale tomatoes and greens.”

“Where are you going?” Merlin asked, at a loss.

“To the market, of course,” Hunith said and left the kitchen.

Arthur was trying to give his too hot cookie a bite. “Shouldn’t we go with her to help her carry the groceries?”

Merlin took the seat Hunith had vacated and considered him for a moment. “Are you seriously willing to go to the marketplace?”

What the hell was going on here?

Arthur gave a nonplussed shrug. “Sure, why not?”

“You know there are just fruits and vegetables and old ladies there, right?”

Arthur scowled. “Will you stop acting like I’m a snobbish dick? I’m just trying to be nice to your mother. She just allowed me to stay the week!”

“She did?” Merlin asked, surprised, then added sarcastically, “On the couch?”

Arthur caressed the back of his head and pouted, as if remembering the discomfort. “She said she’ll find another mattress for me to sleep on tonight.”

“She won’t have to go too far,” Merlin said, grabbing himself a cookie and taking a bite before serving himself some tea.

Arthur seemed curious. “What do you mean?”

“Nevermind.” Merlin dismissed it. “You were saying something about moving?”

He tried to act as if he wasn’t troubled by the word since he overheard them talking. Was Arthur planning to move out of their shared flat? Or was he planning on kicking Merlin out? Merlin wasn’t able to afford even half of the rent, so it must be the last option.

Arthur frowned, grabbing another cookie and licking the crumbs from his lips. “I was thinking about finding another place. You know, something cheaper. I might have to cut some expenses too. I don’t think I can count on my father’s money anymore,” he added before Merlin's questioning look.

“Oh…” Merlin looked down at his cooling down tea. “Do you have something in mind?”

“I was thinking about looking for an apartment at Jonathan’s building, perhaps? He mentioned something about one of his neighbor moving out last week.”

Merlin felt his insides sinking with dejection. “I see.”

Jonathan’s building was a studio apartment only. Arthur was really thinking about moving out and wasn’t planning on sharing with Merlin anymore, as it happened. Was this the reason why Merlin’s mother seemed to be more at ease? She had probably even encouraged Arthur to move on with his plan, relieved that Arthur was putting an end to their arrangement once and for all.

Arthur continued talking, seeming oblivious to Merlin’s inner turmoil. “I mean, the kitchen’s small, but at least it isn’t too far from campus. I would probably have to leave the car at Morgana’s building, but at least I won't have to pay for a garage. And the rent is reasonable.”

“Yeah, it should be fine.”

“Is there something wrong?” Arthur asked, eyeing him cautiously.

“No, nothing at all.” Merlin forced a smile on his face. “It’s probably for the best.”

“Yeah, well-” Arthur started, but was interrupted by Hunith’s cheerful voice.

“See you later, boys! Behave yourselves!”

“Oh, wait, I’ll give you a ride!” Arthur said, picking up another cookie as he stood up and left to the living room. “Merlin and I are going with you.”

“There’s absolutely no need for you to bother, honestly. It’s just down the block!” Came Hunith’s reply. “I’ll go ahead and you can meet me there later, if you still want to go.”

Merlin sighed and rubbed at his eyes. He felt like crawling back to bed and never leaving again. He smiled tensely again when Arthur peaked back inside the kitchen.

Arthur frowned at his pajamas. “What are you waiting for? Go get dressed already!”

Merlin rolled his eyes at his demanding tone, but found it best to comply. At least the walk outside would keep his mind occupied.

.oOo.

Arthur accompanied Merlin to the pub later, promising he would stay in a corner and keep to himself if only Merlin would allow him to use his phone to make some calls. He kept his promise for the first two hours, although he kept following Merlin around the bar with his eyes and sending unfriendly looks towards the amicable patrons who dared to look his or Merlin’s way - which encompassed the entirety of the clientele. Merlin brought him some chips and soda to keep him appeased, but soon Arthur was bored of doing nothing, as was bound to happen from the very start.

At some point in the evening, Gilli came in to have dinner. He was a regular, and had been a bit guarder around him at the beginning, sitting alone by a table in the back, but soon gave in to Merlin’s easygoing smiles.

“The usual?” Merlin asked as Gilli occupied a stool at the bar.

“Yep! Alas, make it a double.”

“That hungry, eh?”

“Starving, actually. I feel like I could eat an entire cow right now.”

Merlin wrinkled his nose. “Don’t let Cook hear you, or she might serve you an actual cow,” he said conspiratorially before turning around to pass the order to the cook through a small window and grab a can of soda.

When he turned back to place the soda in from of Gilli, he saw Arthur taking the stool next to the boy, eyeing him from head to toe.

“I think I’ll have a beer now,” Arthur declared, leaning over the counter.

Gilli shot a quick look to the side, assessed Arthur again, frowning. He didn’t say a word, though, taking a sip from the straw Merlin had given him. Arthur snorted at that.

“Here,” Arthur gave Merlin his phone back when Merlin handed him his order. “It’s all set. I’ve secured the vacant flat at Jonathan’s and gave our landlord the heads up. I told him we’d be handing him the keys by the end of the month.”

“Alright,” Merlin said, trying to keep his tone light. “Will there be any charges?”

“No. He said he already has someone interested.”

“Good.” Merlin noticed Gilli watching the exchange and gestured to him. “Arthur, this is Gilli. He works at the drugstore across the street. Gilli, this is my friend Arthur and-”

“Boyfriend, he means,” Arthur said, offering his hand for Gilli to shake and Merlin nearly dropped the glass he had been arranging in a tray. “We’re moving out to a new place in two weeks time.”

“Oh...” Gilli said, “that's… nice, I guess.”

Merlin was too astounded to do anything other than gape at Arthur. Had he just said they were moving together? To a one-bedroom flat?

Had he really said _boyfriend_?

Jesus Christ.

“Merlin!”

Merlin turned around to see Freya walking inside the pub with a warm smile and a fresh tan.

“How are you holding things up in here?” She asked, leaning over the table to assess him. “You look dashing in this uniform, by the way.”

“Um…” Merlin said, his mind working too quickly for him to follow. What did she say again? Was it important? Was it more important than Arthur introducing himself as his boyfriend and telling a total stranger they were moving into a studio apartment?

Fortunately, he didn't have to answer, for Freya was already chatting up with Gilli. She seemed to notice Arthur then.

“I haven't seen you around here. Are you new in town?”

“I’m just staying the week.” Arthur clarified. He sent an annoyed look at Merlin before offering her his hand. “Since Merlin seems to have  forgotten his manners, allow me to introduce myself. I’m Arthur, Merlin's boyfriend.”

Merlin's brain short circuited again and he gasped.

“Are you alright?” Arthur asked as the three of them looked at him with different degrees of curiosity.

“I’m fine, I… just have to, um… I’ll be right back.”

Merlin walked to the back and locked himself on the loo. He took a couple of deep breaths, wondering if he might puke. When he felt it was safe to look up, he straightened up his spine and looked himself in the eye. “Okay, here's what you gonna do, you’ll walk back out there and act like this is no big deal. Don't freak out. And please, please, _please_ don't embarrass yourself.”

It was a close call. Every time Merlin heard Arthur talking with Freya about their lives in Oxford, he felt like he could cry or burst into laughter. The funny thing was Arthur didn’t have to lie to make it sound like they were an old couple. Merlin was starting to believe it himself!

People felt braver to approach Arthur now that Freya was in their group and, thankfully, Arthur wasn’t rude to them. Quite the contrary, actually. People were dying to know who that handsome stranger was and were often delighted to learn from Freya that he was Hunith’s son’s boyfriend! Merlin busied himself with getting the pub running while pretending not to follow everything going on by that corner of the balcony. He also tried not to smile too wildly every time someone congratulated him on the catch.

“You mean you often go back home alone at this hour?” Arthur asked once they were heading back to his mother’s, looking around the deserted street.

“It’s just a few blocks,” Merlin said, dismissively. “Besides, it’s Ealdor. Everybody knows everybody here, and there’s always some vigilant neighbour watching for some gossip. There,” Merlin pointed at the house with a big glass window at the front. “Mrs. Jones is probably looking at us as we speak. She’s the one who offered you the homemade sweets at the pub. She’s the worst of them all.”

“Really?” Arthur frowned. “She looked so kind and innocent!”

Merlin laughed. “Yeah, one can never tell just by looking at her. You could spill out your entire life to her before you know it.”

“Well, perhaps we should give her something to talk about then?” Arthur said and pulled his hands out of his pocket, lacing his finger’s with Merlin's and offering him a knee-weakening smile.

Merlin’s steps faltered for a moment. He felt his cheeks heating up, but didn’t pull his hand away. They walked silently for a whole minute as Merlin enjoyed the new and thrilling feeling of their joined hands.

Suddenly, Merlin’s bubble of happiness was threatened to burst by a wave of doubt. “Did you really mean it? The boyfriend thing, I mean? Or did you just say it because we’re here in Ealdor and no one outside from here cares to gossip about us being more than just flatmates?”

Arthur glared at him. “Merlin, I just proposed we moved into a one-roomed flat. You really think I want to keep it a secret?”

“I know, it’s just you never said anything of the sort, and now you can’t stop telling everybody! I’m sorry if I’m having trouble believing it.” Merlin sounded more hurt than he intended to.

Arthur stopped, forcing Merlin to stop too. He looked down at their still clasped hands. “Merlin…” He sighed. “I know I have been a terrible friend to you. I should have realized how unfair it was to you, but the truth was I didn’t think you were interested in more than sex with me. You never hinted on wanting things to be different and you never said you wanted me to stop dating-”

“That’s because I thought you were straight! No, scratch that, you _told me_ you were straight.”

“Yeah, well, apparently I lied,” Arthur rolled his eyes. “Look, I know I was a shitty friend, alright? I just want to prove that I can be a better boyfriend. I mean, if you're willing to give me a chance?”

Merlin didn’t answer right away. Not because he wasn’t sure of the answer, but because he was afraid he might scare Arthur away if he was completely honest. Then he saw the uncertainty in the way Arthur frowned and though, ‘Screw that, I’m done trying not to be embarrassingly excited about this!’

And just like that, Merlin jumped on Arthur, putting his arms around him and kissing him right in the middle of the street. Mrs. Jones could snap a picture of them and print it on the local newspaper for all he cared. Arthur let out a surprised noise, but soon clutched Merlin’s clothes to keep him from moving away.

“I don’t care if my mom puts your mattress in the living room, you’ll be sleeping with me tonight,” Merlin said determinedly.

“If you think I’m going to have sex with you with your mother in the next room, don’t hold your breath.”

Merlin just grinned impishly at him in response before pulling him towards the house.

.oOo.

It took some convincing, but Arthur didn’t put that much of a fight after Merlin kneeled between his legs and took him into his mouth. Merlin made him come once before allowing him to fuck his brains out, biting the pillow to keep from making any noise. He had locked the door just to be on the safe side, but he didn’t think it could keep his mother out if she decided to check what was going on in there.

Hunith didn’t seem to be too concerned about the possibility of the both of them jumping at it, though, for she had made Arthur’s bed on the floor just beside Merlin’s, using the very mattress she had claimed to have gotten rid of. The very same mattress they were shagging on now, since the bed was too squeaky.

“I’m close,” Merlin whispered in warning, barely resisting the urge to rub himself on the sheets. He was so hard he would probably come at the lightest touch, sheets be damned.

“You know how long I’ve been dreaming to fuck you like this?” Arthur said into his ear, his body wrapped all over Merlin’s back as he thrusted into him. “Since I gave you that back rub at Gwaine’s party. I was so hard I was aching and you went and _passed out on me_!”

Merlin had a sudden realization of the reason Arthur had been so grumpy the following morning, but was too high with his own approaching orgasm to articulate anything past a muffled moan.

Arthur chose that moment to put his weight on Merlin’s back and force him to lay down flat on the mattress.

No, no, no, bad idea, Merlin thought, but it was too late. Arthur was moving again and the friction was killing him until...

Merlin cried out into the pillow, feeling the humidity spread bellow him as he came buckets.

“Shhhhit,” Merlin said, turning his head to the side to take in a couple lugfulls of blessed air. “Fuck. Oh, crap. Buggering jizzmuffin-”

Arthur stiled above him and then started to shake. Merlin thought he was coming, but then he heard Arthur’s muffled laugh.

“Shut _up_ , Merlin! I’m trying to concentrate here!”

“Sorry. Go on. It’s too late now anyway.”

His mother would definitely have to dispose of the mattress now.

.oOo.

They got dressed, opened the window to clear the smell, put away the dirty sheets, unlocked the door and only then went to sleep.

“Arthur?” Merlin asked once they were tucked in Merlin’s narrow and blessedly clean bed.

“Hm?” Came Arthur’s reply from behind him.

“Did you tell your father about us?”

He felt when Arthur froze in the middle of breathing in, just for a fraction, before answering. “Yes.”

“Is this why he won’t be giving you money anymore?”

Another hesitation. “Well, he didn’t exactly say he wouldn’t be giving me any money. He said he _shouldn’t_ give me any money and I sort of told him where to shove it, so I think it’s best if we don’t count on that.”

“I see…” Merlin said, torn between being proud of Arthur for standing up to his father and sad about him having to stand up to the man in the first place.

Merlin was so used to having his mother’s support he often forgot not everyone had the same luck as him.

“Wait. You told my mother this, this morning, didn’t you?” Merlin shook his head. “No wonder she was going all soft on you again. You’re such a manipulative bastard.”

“I’m no such thing! Besides, it’s not like I made this up.”

“So you deny you deliberately played the poor dejected motherless child on her?”

Merlin felt Arthur’s shrug at his back. “You fight with the weapons you have.”

“You’re shameless,” Merlin said amusedly.

Arthur sighed. When he spoke again, his tone was serious. “We’ll probably have to cut some costs beyond the rent. I’ve been saving some money, but I’ll have to pay for college on my own now, so...”

“It’s alright. We’ll work things out. I’ve been saving some money as well. I mean, it’s probably not even close to what you’ve got, but it’s something. I never needed much to be happy.”

He actually had everything he needed now.

Arthur kissed his nape, snuggling up closer. Merlin sighed contently.

.oOo.

“What did Gwaine say to you that morning?”

“I’ll die before I tell you.”

“Oh, I’d have given anything to watch it. Did he actually give you a _dressing down_?”

“Shut up, Merlin."

 

.oO The End Oo.


End file.
